Michael P. Shipley

Here comes FEMA, Fucking Ewe with Massive Assholery.

Michael Shipley — Tue, 21 May 2013 17:02:14 +0000

FEMA actually ENCOURAGES cities and towns and states and people to not take precautions. They are encouraged to not take precautions like building dams against flooding, or moving to a safer location, in the hope that when a disaster hits it will cause enough damage that FEMA will be activated and give them billions in aid. The broken window philosophy in action. Perverse.

FEMA: Blueprint for Tyranny

Benedict Cumberbatch is here?

Michael Shipley — Sat, 18 May 2013 14:48:14 +0000

Why is Benedict Cumberbatch here?

Marc Maron on Patton Oswalt: “He doesn’t cry. He turns pain into word bullets.”

Michael Shipley — Fri, 17 May 2013 12:22:58 +0000

Was reading a Marc Maron Twitter thread:

@alvector @pattonoswalt He doesn’t cry. He turns pain into word bullets.

— marc maron (@marcmaron) May 17, 2013

And Patton Oswalt’s reply gave me an idea:

.@marcmaron @alvectorIf I ever do an action film for Golan-Globus, that’s my poster tag line.

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 17, 2013

Make him a poster!

If government came with a warning label what would it say?

Michael Shipley — Tue, 07 May 2013 04:17:36 +0000

I saw a warning on a pack of cigarettes about the dangers of smoking and I thought, government should come with a warning too. People don’t know the dangers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger auditions for new horror movie coming out 2016

Michael Shipley — Sat, 04 May 2013 15:53:48 +0000

Arnold wanted to be in this movie coming out 2016 called Army of Darkness 2 but Bruce Campbell, the producer and star, wasn’t sure he could take it so he made him audition. The scene was a fight with deadites at an SMART.

Arnold was offended at first. But he wanted it so bad he got over it.

Sam Raimi himself directed the audition and threw everything he could at him. He poked him with every sharp stick he could find. It was horrible to watch. Finally the pain was so excruciating Arnold had to quit!

As Arnold limped out the door he growled, “I’ve been in the most grueling painful action movies ever made, Terminator, Predator, Total Recall, but this is even too much for me! Your the director from hell Sam Raimi! From hell!” Bruce looked at Sam and they both smiled.

Watch Arnold Schwarzenegger audition for Army of Darkness 2 on Youtube

On Funny or Die:

Arnold Schwarzenegger auditions for Army of Darkness 2 – watch more funny videos

Will God forgive Ben Bernanke?

Michael Shipley — Sat, 04 May 2013 15:23:06 +0000

“God will forgive Bernanke. He’ll forgive him and allow him into heaven.”

“I can’t live with that.”

Rand Paul on Milky Way Goo

Michael Shipley — Thu, 02 May 2013 13:43:56 +0000

Rand Paul is philosophical about getting Milky Way goo all over himself while filibustering.

(One does not simply eat a Milky Way and not get goo on one)

More CNN crisis actor photos

Michael Shipley — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:05:52 +0000

I found more proof of CNN using crisis actors. The same woman being interviewed at other crisis events. The Oklahoma bombing, 911, and Mumbai.

Boston Bombings: CNN Crisis Actor Also Connected To Sandy Hook Shooting – Video Report

Crisis Actor Caught During Explosion – Boston Bombing – Must See Video!

Warning: Don’t mess with Tom Woods on twitter.

Michael Shipley — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 09:54:27 +0000

Hey statists, neocons, liberals, and progressives. I’m warning you. Don’t mess with Tom Woods on twitter. Because if you…

https://twitter.com/ThomasEWoods

What would Christina Ricci look like today as a grown up Wednesday in an Adams Family remake?

Michael Shipley — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 19:53:52 +0000

I think Christina Ricci would look pretty hot as a grown up Wednesday in a remake of the Addams Family, don’t you think?