Official TWITTER (Michael P. Shipley)

What Should of Happened at the Avengers Age of Ultron Premiere Red Carpet

Ultron crashes the red carpet party, drunk (with power), brazenly threatening the crowd with extinction then focusing on a paparazzi who had the nerve to take his picture.

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“I am so mad at my mother I’m going to take it out on you.”

Ultron reaches out to grab the paltry paparazzi’s throat when he hears a familiar voice…

“Doth mother know you weareth her drapes!”

Its Ironman, Cap, and Thor!

Cap corrects him, “No, thats Thor.”

“Oh yeah, right. Wait I got it, ‘Hey Megastupid, transform yourself out of here.’ Hehe, I like that one.”

Ultron laughs.

“Ha, I ate Megatron last Thursday with a side order of Optimus Prime rib. Delicious.”

Suddenly Ultron reaches for Ironman’s throat. Ironman parries and punches the evil super villian in his metallic face.

Thor flanks him and pounds him in the back with his hammer, bringing the robotic menace to his knees.

Cap positions himself to strike the final blow and decapitate Ultrons head with his mighty shield, when Scarlet Witch, hiding behind Joss Whedon, secretly starts messing with the minds of the Avengers.

“Hey Ironman, Thor said you mess with things you dont understand. Like Pepper Pott’s vagina,” said the evil conniving witch.

Ironman, enraged, attacks Thor.

“Hey Cap,” the evil witch hisses, “Ironman said you smell like his grandmother.”

A very irate Cap attacks Ironman!

Seeing his chance, Ultron runs to the theater entrance and turns to the crowd….

“You see how easily we defeated them? Come inside kiddies, if you dare, and watch how I defeat them all. And btw dont forget to buy some delicious popcorn, maybe a Chicago hot dog with everything on it, and a nice refreshing beverage to wash it all down, because after I kill your precious Avengers, I will come for you, and that will be your last meal.”

Now that would of been cool.

Ultron is the U.S. GOVERNMENT

In the movie, Avengers Age of Ultron, Ultron is a metaphor for the USGOV.

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Like Tony Stark, the USGOV initially had good intentions. It wanted to FORCE world peace by becoming the worlds policeman.

But eventually, in order to FORCE world peace, it became a brutal tyrannical mass murdering psychopath.

The USGOV has literally killed millions in intentionally provoked manufactured wars, in order to FORCE world peace.

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” – Saint Bernard of Clairvaux (c. 1150).

The Avengers are us. We the people have to stop the USGOV, before it kills us all, in the name of “peace.”

The way to do this peacefully is to take away the USGOVs power.

We can do that by voting libertarian in all future elections, and by exchanging the fake money the USGOV, via the Federal Reserve, forced us to use, with gold or silver. Do it now.

“The means of defence against foreign danger, have been always the instruments of tyranny at home.” ― James Madison

Sam Raimi Isn’t a Director, He’s an Art Dealer

When your body of work (Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, Darkman, Simple Plan, Oz the Great and Powerful, Spiderman, etc) are all considered classics with some receiving the ultimate honor of cult classic, you’re no longer just a moving pictures maker, you’ve graduated to a master of Art. Nuff’ said.